Children can sometimes be furious over small things. Well, it is small for us but for them, it means the ultimate objective. We tend to get angry when things do not go our way, and that is exactly what infuriates kids too, but handling that anger is really important, especially when one is in developing stage. This will define the child as a person in future. So, you need to take appropriate measures to calm your child. Some children are scolded when they are angry, which is not the best way to teach them about life. As a result, their primary behavior becomes aggressive in future.
Parents need to understand that it is completely natural if a child is getting angry. And it is their responsibility to make them understand things, empathize with them, and above all, be their friends. But, parents and teachers usually get angry themselves because they find the child’s aggressive nature irritating, it only makes things worse. Also, what parents do, the child learns, so it is always better to lead a life that you want your child to lead in future, and maybe you won’t need to calm your child anymore in future. Here are some ways you can calm your child, so that anger does not turn into aggressive behavior in future:
1. Be patient in dealing with them
Parents need to be patient in dealing with their child’s anger. If parents are always getting angry and punishing the child for his mistakes and behavior, he will develop hatred and it will change him in future. It would be difficult for him to make friends and agree with people. In today’s world, people who are aggressive are left behind in a race to success. No one likes to cooperate with a person who doesn’t listen or agree to other people’s point of view. Remember, when the child is born, his/her mind is a clean hard drive which learns and stores data from surroundings. The way you behave is constantly being stored in child’s brain for future use. It all starts with parents, so you have to be patient in front of them, the child should not be the one that bears your frustration.
2. Listen to your child
It is not a rocket science to understand why your child is angry. All you have to do is start listening. While listening, do not bring suspicion on your face, because then your child won’t be honest with you due to the fear of being scolded. Make sure the child shares his feelings with you, so that you’ll be able to know what is going on in his school, friend circle and how best you can help him.
3. Have a healthy conversation
It feels really good when someone listens to us and then talks to us, taking the conversation forward. Don’t just listen, talk to them as if you are talking to your friends. Understand their point of view, if they are wrong, there are ways to convey that to them without hurting their feelings. Tell them stories to teach useful lessons. Instead of just ordering them what to do, make them feel as if it was their own idea. Narrate a story that involves a person making a mistake, and then he did not get his favorite toy because the shopkeeper got angry at him, or something like that. That way, the child will start to know what is right and what is wrong.
4. Appreciate their good work
You need to make sure that you appreciate the good work done by your child, whether it is the completion of homework on time, or finishing the food, or anything else. If some things make him angry, then some things should also be there to make him happy to elevate his mood. You can say things like, “Very good, I really liked that you went to bed on time today”, “You finally solved that math problem, I’m proud of your hard work”.
5. Move closer to them to show your affection
Pat his back for the good work done by him, rub his head to express your feelings. These things make the child feel that his parents are interested in his tasks no matter how trivial. Children sometimes struggle to attract parent’s attention and think that parents care less. Do not let your child think that, by constantly expressing your feelings. Doesn’t matter if he is doing an unimportant work, you should still get involved. Remember, that unimportant work is currently the most important work to him.
6. Ignore what can be ignored
Some parents have a habit of correcting every single mistake of the child, thinking they want to raise him perfectly. But, pointing out every single mistake leads to irritation. This is one of the major reasons behind children becoming aggressive. They know well in advance that they are about to get scolded for a minor mistake and there is nothing they can say to defend themselves. Parents want what’s best for their child, but that does not mean you make a person perfect by constantly pointing out every mistake. Humans are allowed to make mistakes, what matters is, they don’t repeat mistakes. Tell your child it is OK, pay attention to it next time. That way, the child will share everything with you without fear. You will get to know what he has been up to.
7. Reward them for good work
Buying a new bicycle in exchange for good marks isn’t going to help, your child will just think maybe he won’t get a new bike because the task is too tough. He will get worried and angry later. Instead, reward your children for the work already done by them. Rewards can be big or small (child should like it), but do not always promise rewards on a condition. If you reward them for any past work, that will motivate them to work hard to get a new reward. Remind them, that keep doing the good work and rewards will keep on coming, then maybe encourage them for good marks. If you want to calm your child, this is going to work.
Get a home tutor
Home tutors apart from teaching can help the child in ways you could not have. Children have a tendency to keep bad things from parents out of fear. But, a home tutor can get through them, make them share everything that has been going on in their lives, school, friends, etc. The child might share some information with the home tutor, which can turn out to be an important one for the parents. That information could not have known otherwise. Only by knowing the right information you can calm your child. Get a home tutor from Qriyo will your child’s friend. Learning and sharing, two of the most important things in life can be done, just head to qriyo website or app and find 300+ courses to learn.
Be your child’s best friend, so that they share everything with you. They will look up to you when they need a solution. You need to build this kind of relationship with your child so that they don’t feel neglected or abandoned. Make them feel as an equal member of the family.